My coworkers are discussing the killings at Virginia Tech, and I am trying not to be sickened by their conversation. Thus far they have decried immigration, antidepressants, and Buddhism. Several of my friends, not to mention my Wonderful Husband, are immigrants to America. Several of my friends are on various antidepressant medications. If I had to label my own personal beliefs, I'd probably fall closest to Buddhism out of any organized religion I've yet encountered.

I've always known that I don't fit well into this office, but I keep my mouth shut, work in my upstairs office, and deal with it. It's a job I can do well, and they pay me decently for it. Still, I'm at least fifteen years younger than anyone else here and the only one in any kind of happy relationship. While I'm not the only person with certain political leanings, I'm apparently the only one who keeps her political and religious views to herself. Whatever happened to kindness, decency, and forgiveness? Whatever happened to compassion and politeness? I'm the one of the younger generation here--I'm supposed to be the one with no manners. Yet here I am, the one keeping her thoughts to herself.

I wish there was anything I could do to make this world a place where things like Virginia Tech don't happen. I wish some of my friends weren't fighting with one another. I wish I were a better person, stronger, more capable of fixing the things that are broken.... Instead, I feel like all I can do is cry.