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sakon76Saw the film for the fourth time today. (Shut up, it's nowhere near the number of times I saw TFs1, or The Crow, or The Little Mermaid in theaters.) Got railroaded by this story.
Warning: this is an "it gets better" story. It's predicated on bullying, abandonment, and suicide attempts. Don't click the link if you think you can't handle those things.
Tutelary 2
by K. Stonham
first released 13th January 2013
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me
The year Jamie turned sixteen was his worst. Of all his childhood friends, he alone still believed in the Guardians. He learned how not to say so, how to keep his mouth shut about what was in his heart.
He learned it the hard way.
"Hey, Jamie," Jack said one October day, breezing in through Jamie's window. He stopped short, though, when he saw Jamie laying on his bed, ice pack over one eye.
"Hey, Jack," Jamie said listlessly, not getting up.
Jack sat next to him, cool fingers prying at the pack. Jamie resisted, but it was futile; Jack had the ice pack off and was examining the black eye within seconds. He let out a low, unhappy breath, and wordlessly returned the ice pack to its position. He then picked up Jamie's hands, one then the other, examining the scraped knuckles and the band-aids between then.
"Who do I need to kill?" Jack asked eventually.
Jamie struggled upright. "No one! It was just me being stupid and running my mouth."
Jack's mouth set in a line. "You are not stupid, Jamie. You're one of the smartest people I know. And I somehow doubt your mouth reached out and punched you in the eye."
Jamie looked away. "It's nothing."
Cool fingers caught under his chin, directed him to look back at Jack. "It's not nothing." Jack held his gaze for a long moment, then sighed. "Why are you getting beaten up, Jamie?"
Jamie couldn't meet the Guardian's eyes.
Jack drew a shaky breath. "Because of me?"
Jamie shook his head, mute.
"Because you're too old to believe in fairy tales?" Jack pressed.
"You're not a fairy tale!" Jamie burst out, then bit his lip. Jack looked like he'd had his heart ripped out at the confirmation. "You're real," Jamie said more quietly. "I don't care if Caleb and everyone else chooses to ignore reality. I'm not going to forget about what I know just because they have."
"Jamie." Jack's voice was very quiet. "If you're getting hurt because you still believe...."
"I am not forgetting, Jack." Jamie's voice held no compromise. "You can't make me."
"Hey, hey, I don't want you to forget about me!" Jack protested, one hand on Jamie's shoulder. "I just don't want you getting hurt."
"Some things there's just no doing anything about," Jamie said bitterly.
Jack looked at him for a minute, then looked away. Wordlessly, he tugged up the sleeves of his hoodie. When he had them rucked up to his elbows, he turned back toward Jamie and displayed the undersides of both arms.
Jamie's mouth dropped open.
Jack's arms were covered in thin white lines. Most were parallel to his wrists. A couple, longer, were not.
"Jack..." Jamie said helplessly.
Jack didn't meet his eyes. "I know it's not always going to help, but... it gets better, Jamie. You'll get through high school, and go away to college, to someplace new where nobody knows you, and you'll meet new people, and some of them will think still believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy is kind of cool."
"Jack." Jamie's fingers wrapped around one cool, pale wrist. "Why did you...?"
Jack's voice was rough. "Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. It got worse. Eventually, it got better."
"Do... do the other Guardians know?"
Jack shook his head, closed his eyes. "I doubt it."
"But why not?" Jamie couldn't understand why. Jack was always talking about what the other Guardians were up to; he clearly adored them.
Jack's blue eyes shot open again, fierce, glaring. "Because they ignored me, Jamie. For three hundred years." His breath hitched; his gaze slid away. "I love them, and they're part of my life now. But, for three hundred years...." His voice trailed off. He shook his head.
"Oh, God." Jamie wrapped his arms around Jack, pulled him close. Freezing tears burned through his shirt. "It got better," Jack whispered raggedly. "I promise it will get better for you too. I promise. Even if I have to steal you away and hide you at North's for the next three years. It will."
Jamie surprised himself with a laugh. "Do that, and I'll never get into college."
"You can learn to make toys instead," Jack planned out. "You can become a master craftsman. Do you know what yeti furniture goes for in Europe? All those toy-making supplies don't buy themselves."
Jamie had to laugh. And cry, at the same time. It hurt so damn much. And then it was Jack holding him, stroking his hair as Jamie broke down and cried it all out. "They were supposed to be my friends," Jamie sobbed, hiccuping on the words.
"I know. They were. They just... forgot." Jack never let him go.
Eventually, Jamie was left with a runny nose, burning eyes, and a headache. There weren't any more tears left in him. He felt burnt out, like he'd been crying forever.
Jack handed him the box of tissues, waited as Jamie blew his nose a few times. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. "Jamie, I want you to promise me something."
"Mmm?"
Jack's eyes met his, serious. "I want you to promise me that you'll never try this." He gestured to his arms. "You're smarter than I am. You have people who love you. I'm one of them! So if you ever think you might, tell me. And I will kidnap you, to North's or wherever you want to go. And you won't ever have to come back."
"Jack...."
"Promise me." Jack was unrelenting.
Jamie swallowed, let his breath go, drew another. "I promise."
"Good."
Jamie just breathed for a few more minutes before touching Jack's bare arm again, looking at the numerous white-on-white scars. He didn't try to count them. He didn't want a number for how many times Jack had tried to remove himself from the world. For how many times he might never have met his friend. "I won't tell anyone. About these."
Jack breathed what might have been a laugh. "Thanks." Slowly, meticulously, he pulled down one sleeve, then the other. But just because his scars were hidden, Jamie understood, just because no one knew they were there, didn't mean they didn't exist.
Warning: this is an "it gets better" story. It's predicated on bullying, abandonment, and suicide attempts. Don't click the link if you think you can't handle those things.
Tutelary 2
by K. Stonham
first released 13th January 2013
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me
The year Jamie turned sixteen was his worst. Of all his childhood friends, he alone still believed in the Guardians. He learned how not to say so, how to keep his mouth shut about what was in his heart.
He learned it the hard way.
"Hey, Jamie," Jack said one October day, breezing in through Jamie's window. He stopped short, though, when he saw Jamie laying on his bed, ice pack over one eye.
"Hey, Jack," Jamie said listlessly, not getting up.
Jack sat next to him, cool fingers prying at the pack. Jamie resisted, but it was futile; Jack had the ice pack off and was examining the black eye within seconds. He let out a low, unhappy breath, and wordlessly returned the ice pack to its position. He then picked up Jamie's hands, one then the other, examining the scraped knuckles and the band-aids between then.
"Who do I need to kill?" Jack asked eventually.
Jamie struggled upright. "No one! It was just me being stupid and running my mouth."
Jack's mouth set in a line. "You are not stupid, Jamie. You're one of the smartest people I know. And I somehow doubt your mouth reached out and punched you in the eye."
Jamie looked away. "It's nothing."
Cool fingers caught under his chin, directed him to look back at Jack. "It's not nothing." Jack held his gaze for a long moment, then sighed. "Why are you getting beaten up, Jamie?"
Jamie couldn't meet the Guardian's eyes.
Jack drew a shaky breath. "Because of me?"
Jamie shook his head, mute.
"Because you're too old to believe in fairy tales?" Jack pressed.
"You're not a fairy tale!" Jamie burst out, then bit his lip. Jack looked like he'd had his heart ripped out at the confirmation. "You're real," Jamie said more quietly. "I don't care if Caleb and everyone else chooses to ignore reality. I'm not going to forget about what I know just because they have."
"Jamie." Jack's voice was very quiet. "If you're getting hurt because you still believe...."
"I am not forgetting, Jack." Jamie's voice held no compromise. "You can't make me."
"Hey, hey, I don't want you to forget about me!" Jack protested, one hand on Jamie's shoulder. "I just don't want you getting hurt."
"Some things there's just no doing anything about," Jamie said bitterly.
Jack looked at him for a minute, then looked away. Wordlessly, he tugged up the sleeves of his hoodie. When he had them rucked up to his elbows, he turned back toward Jamie and displayed the undersides of both arms.
Jamie's mouth dropped open.
Jack's arms were covered in thin white lines. Most were parallel to his wrists. A couple, longer, were not.
"Jack..." Jamie said helplessly.
Jack didn't meet his eyes. "I know it's not always going to help, but... it gets better, Jamie. You'll get through high school, and go away to college, to someplace new where nobody knows you, and you'll meet new people, and some of them will think still believing in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy is kind of cool."
"Jack." Jamie's fingers wrapped around one cool, pale wrist. "Why did you...?"
Jack's voice was rough. "Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. It got worse. Eventually, it got better."
"Do... do the other Guardians know?"
Jack shook his head, closed his eyes. "I doubt it."
"But why not?" Jamie couldn't understand why. Jack was always talking about what the other Guardians were up to; he clearly adored them.
Jack's blue eyes shot open again, fierce, glaring. "Because they ignored me, Jamie. For three hundred years." His breath hitched; his gaze slid away. "I love them, and they're part of my life now. But, for three hundred years...." His voice trailed off. He shook his head.
"Oh, God." Jamie wrapped his arms around Jack, pulled him close. Freezing tears burned through his shirt. "It got better," Jack whispered raggedly. "I promise it will get better for you too. I promise. Even if I have to steal you away and hide you at North's for the next three years. It will."
Jamie surprised himself with a laugh. "Do that, and I'll never get into college."
"You can learn to make toys instead," Jack planned out. "You can become a master craftsman. Do you know what yeti furniture goes for in Europe? All those toy-making supplies don't buy themselves."
Jamie had to laugh. And cry, at the same time. It hurt so damn much. And then it was Jack holding him, stroking his hair as Jamie broke down and cried it all out. "They were supposed to be my friends," Jamie sobbed, hiccuping on the words.
"I know. They were. They just... forgot." Jack never let him go.
Eventually, Jamie was left with a runny nose, burning eyes, and a headache. There weren't any more tears left in him. He felt burnt out, like he'd been crying forever.
Jack handed him the box of tissues, waited as Jamie blew his nose a few times. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. "Jamie, I want you to promise me something."
"Mmm?"
Jack's eyes met his, serious. "I want you to promise me that you'll never try this." He gestured to his arms. "You're smarter than I am. You have people who love you. I'm one of them! So if you ever think you might, tell me. And I will kidnap you, to North's or wherever you want to go. And you won't ever have to come back."
"Jack...."
"Promise me." Jack was unrelenting.
Jamie swallowed, let his breath go, drew another. "I promise."
"Good."
Jamie just breathed for a few more minutes before touching Jack's bare arm again, looking at the numerous white-on-white scars. He didn't try to count them. He didn't want a number for how many times Jack had tried to remove himself from the world. For how many times he might never have met his friend. "I won't tell anyone. About these."
Jack breathed what might have been a laugh. "Thanks." Slowly, meticulously, he pulled down one sleeve, then the other. But just because his scars were hidden, Jamie understood, just because no one knew they were there, didn't mean they didn't exist.
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no subject
Date: 2013-01-14 06:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-14 08:03 am (UTC)and then one day you look back and feel superior because hahaha i got into a good course and have a steady job and YOU DONTBut oh, oh, oh Jack. *wants to hug them both forever*no subject
Date: 2013-01-14 03:45 pm (UTC)Tough topic, but well done and well handled.