No. Not EVER.

[sakon76]

seanan_mcguire frequently posts things that I find fascinating. While I doubt I will ever match her writing proliferateness (is that even a word?), I have no problem admitting that I use her as a kind of sign and guidepost for where I want to go and what may happen when (not if, WHEN) I become a published author.

That said, I read her post today and just went BWUH? (Warning: link contains talk of rape, which may be triggery.) How could anyone ask that? How could anyone assume rape as a default?

I fully admit that I'm relatively sheltered and extremely privileged. I'm female, but I'm Caucasian, born in the USA, had the opportunity to attend college, grew up in a stable family environment, physically healthy, married to a person who fully deserves the moniker "Wonderful Husband," and my financial status is that I have "enough." All this combines to mean that I pretty much won the lottery when it comes to life.

That said, I was raging when Lara Croft's backstory was altered to make her the victim of rape. WHY??? I simply cannot UNDERSTAND how anyone can think it's a normal part of a woman's life, or how it "adds to the character's narrative" or any such crap.

I know one woman, someone I love very dearly, who told me that she was raped long ago. Statistically, it's likely she's not the only woman I know who has been. But she's the only one who's told me. And despite the fact that it's been years and years, the pain when she told me... no. Not EVER.

I have never had to experience that myself. I pray I never have to. I pray no woman (or man, or child) ever has to again.

Thinking back on all the stories I've written over the years, I remember writing one which had a victim of abuse. It was a story about learning to express anger, and to be able to move on to the next step in healing. There may be other stories slipping my mind at the moment, but if there are, they are few.

So, in case anyone was wondering, rape is not something that's ever going to happen in my stories. I acknowledge that it exists. And it may well happen in the background universes of my works. But it is not something I'm ever going to dwell on, lovingly paint in full color, and say "but it made them a stronger person!"

Because as a writer, I may hurt the characters I love best, but there is a line carved in stone. And I ain't crossing it.

Comments

[flybystardancer.livejournal.com]

In a way, I'm like you. Caucasian woman that didn't grow up in a struggling household, went to college, and have probably experienced far less overt sexism than many women, even in this country. And I've also never experienced rape, though I can honestly stand at the end of the vagina monologues when they ask everyone who has either been a victim, or knows for sure someone who has, to stand up.

On the other hand... I have a complicated relationship with rape in fiction. I'm more afraid of rape than I am of dying, and that fear sometimes compels me to read rapefic sometimes. I've even worked on some, including a fic I'm co-writing at the moment. So, for me it's a relatively safe way to deal with a fear that's almost irrationally strong, so that it has less power over me.

[sakon76.livejournal.com]

I can't read rapefic. Straight-in noncon and sometimes the darker shades of dubcon leave me feeling like I need a shower inside my skull. So it's totally a YMMV thing! If we were all interested in the same thing, the world (and internet) would be a much less interesting place.

But any assumption of "female main character must get raped" as a default setting makes me seethe. Like a woman with any sort of power must pay her dues to the gender that has a dick. It just buttonmashes my feminist tendencies like WHOA.

[flybystardancer.livejournal.com]

I often can't read the actual rape the first time around. If I find the aftermath compelling enough to reread several times, then I'll go back and try to read the rape. And I have a lower tolerance for dub-con than I did when I was younger, mostly with fics where it doesn't feel like the author appreciates how close to non-con they're edging.

Yes, those assumptions are horrible. Complete agreement with you from the feminist angle. On the other hand, I can see it not so much as paying their dues as a reflection of the fact that so many women are raped every year. Wanting to bring awareness to that (like the Vagina Monologues does) is not anti-feminist.

On the third hand, assuming that all female characters must experience rape at some point is telling an author what to write, which is another huge (though very different) No-No.



...I hope my string of thoughts made sense.

[sakon76.livejournal.com]

Totally makes sense! It very much is a case of "not wanting to normalize this" versus "not wanting to sweep under the rug the fact that it does happen." So there very much is a balancing act going on.

It's just not something I, personally, can write about. I can't and don't want to get to the place in my head that would let me access that kind of writing. It's part of the same place that makes me loathe film noir. If I let the darkness in, it will shatter me, and I don't want depression and medications and head doctors.

[flybystardancer.livejournal.com]

I can totally understand not being able to do it for mental health reasons. I have a hard time with rapefic, and can't do any other darkfic at all, for exactly that. Some fics that aren't even darkfics, can get me in a place where I'm crying and can't see how things could possibly work out (sleep will reset my brain and leave me wondering how I got so depressed, but it's happened multiple times).

[hoshikage.livejournal.com]

WHAT. Just... WHAT. NO.

I cannot even be any more coherent than that, it is just so incredibly wrong.

[tiamat1972.livejournal.com]

Your icon sums it up nicely.