[rd][fic][Transformers '07 movie] Pastel Sparkles

[sakon76]

Pastel Sparkles
by K. Stonham
prereleased 28th August 2008

"Grimlock does not need stupid hologram generator!" The roar echoed through the corridors of the Ark.

"Do not want, do not want!" Swoop parodied his team's leader. "Grimlock sounds like a LOLcat."

The theropodian robot glared at his medical officer. "Am not stupid Earth feline!"

Venting in exasperation, Ratchet hooked his digits into a seam at the surly tyrannosaur's collarbone, and yanked him down. "You will be fitted with a hologram generator," he informed the Dinobot, "one, because you need to be able to communicate with the natives in a non-threatening manner; two, because it will make exploration of smaller enclosed areas much more convenient for you, giving you an edge on Soundwave's cassettes; three, because I said so."

The Dinobot was silent for a moment, his large tail swishing back and forth, then finally he muttered "Not care so much about stupid humans... but makes crushing Ravage easier, Grimlock can live with."

"Good." Ratchet released his patient. "Then transform. Swoop, you can help me with this if you want."

*

Mikaela was present (on a counter and well out of the way) the first time Grimlock used his shiny new hologram generator to simulate a human.

"Grimlock has scanned puny human communications network and compiled ultimate human form," he announced proudly. Mikaela refrained from rolling her eyes or mentioning "the Governator" aloud, but she was pretty sure that Grimlock's hologram wasn't going to be too far off Schwarzenneger's bodybuilding days. She'd been told that Grimlock wasn't actually all brawn, no brains... but she'd yet to see proof.

(If the car-shaped 'bots used their holograms for driving around inconspicuously, she wondered, would Grimlock try the same thing and end up a Dino-Rider?)

Grimlock activated his projector and in a shimmer of silver-white light, the hologram formed at his feet.

Mikaela's eyes flew wide and she hastily stuffed a fist into her mouth to keep from laughing. The Dinobots did not like to be laughed at. Grimlock's hologram was short, slender, and had wide, limpid eyes. A delicate blush stained his pale cheeks as long lashes fluttered against them. Softly waving blond hair framed a face that was, well... feminine.

She could almost imagine flower petals and pastel sparkles behind him.

Then he spoke. "Well, what you think?" he asked in Grimlock's rough, low voice.

She nearly doubled over trying not to laugh.

"A very interesting choice, Grimlock," Optimus Prime said mildly.

Slag poked at the hologram. "Grimlock is tiny."

The hologram swatted the robotic finger away. "Slag's processor made of beryllium baloney!"

Another finger approached the hologram, Sludge stroking the soft blond hair. "Grimlock so pretty," he murmured. Mikaela toppled over to her side, holding her stomach in an attempt to not giggle madly aloud.

"And Sludge's made of cesium salami!" Grimlock declared.

"Excuse me!" Snarl pushed his way through the other Dinobots, holding a polished metal basin that served as well as a mirror. He held it out wordlessly before the hologram, who stopped and examined his reflection.

"That... me?" Grimlock asked eventually. Snarl nodded. With a roar of rage, the Dinobot's hologram dissolved. "Who hacked new projector?!" he demanded, glaring at all the assembled Autobots.

In the end it proved to be Sideswipe's doing, of course, and landed him three weeks in the brig, as much to protect him from Grimlock's wrath as to teach him a lesson. Mikaela visited the miscreant frequently during this period and couldn't help agreeing with him that the prank had been worth the punishment.

*~*~*

Author's Note: This is why I shouldn't have conversations with hoshikage. They tend to inspire horrifying phrases like "bishounen Grimlock" and then I have to write them.

Comments

[tainry.livejournal.com]

::laughs and laughs and laughs and dies::

[hoshikage.livejournal.com]

I beg your pardon. This one is most definitely your fault, not mine. I was merely an innocent bystander. :P

[(Anonymous)]

XD Points on using the insults from TFTM. *ROFLMAO*


lg7

[kyra-neko-rei.livejournal.com]

HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I love the rationalization behind Sideswipe's punishment. And everything else.

Amazing what devious things could be done with a holoprojector. *is picturing Sideswipe projecting a miniature Megatron dancing the hula, complete with glass skirt and coconut bikini, mid-battle*

[eerian_sadow]

dear gods, that was wonderful! i about died when i saw the dino rider, comment though.

[saesama.livejournal.com]

Grimlock so pretty

Word I never, ever, in a million years, expected to hear/read/other.

[wanderingscroll.livejournal.com]

*falls over laughing at both the fic and the comments*

[autobotmosquito.livejournal.com]

"Grimlock so pretty"

One phrase I never expected to ever even think of, let alone read in such a win-filled fic. Also, much love for Swoop telling Grimlock he "sounds like a LOLcat." And '86 movie insults are just the icing on the cake. You win! *gives cookies*

[okami-myrrhibis.livejournal.com]

ROFL!!! OMG!!! tee hee *falls out of her workchair*

[bookworm-faith.livejournal.com]

...I am so very very sorry, but this is what my brain produced after reading that *cough* Apologies for the crap-ness of it, but this is what happens when I am sick apparently. Thankyou for the laugh! Also hope you dont mind, but I suspect am gonna stalk your journal for fic from now on...*sheepish* Here, have a um, bishie Grimlock?
(http://img166.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bishyec8.jpg)

(http://img604.imageshack.us/content.php?page=blogpost&files=img166/3013/bishyec8.jpg) Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!