Enumeration of sporadicity

[sakon76]

Last night was a bad night, to the point where my Wonderful Husband was asking me if I was sure I felt up to going to the last of our ballroom dance classes for this session. We went, of course, and I felt better for a while. But then reality crashed down hard again afterwards and I ended up giving up on editing or writing, and just going to bed early.


I know I'm not getting enough sleep these days, and it seems my body's finally catching on to that lack. For the last couple days I've been in the thrall of incipient almost-pain... the kind where you know if you stand up too fast or turn your head wrong and it will hurt. Unfortunately it's also not actual pain (unless you do those things) so painkillers don't do much for it. I've started drinking tea again after a while off, as the caffiene and whatever that other chemical is in green tea seem to alleviate such things.

On top of the lack of sleep, I've slacked off and not done a translation for Ultraman: Moebius this week (guilt). I'm not getting better by slacking, and the series is not getting caught up with. But I'm also quite conscious of the fact that the brighter something burns, the more quickly it burns out. I don't want to burn out on this series, but I realize that it exists as a possibility. I don't know if being mindful of it will keep it from happening or not.

I'm also still feeling horrible about Ash's death, like I should have been able to prevent it somehow, and slightly resentful of the kitten care I'm providing to Stalk and Beryl because I know they're taking up time I should be spending on my own cat. But, on the bright side, they've found adoptors! My good friends racerxmachina and roseembolism are adopting the sisters at the end of the month. They're being renamed Alice and Dorothy. All around it was a nice timing of my having these kittens around the time they finally became able to adopt a cat. And there's really no one I think will take better care of the girls.

I guess the worst thing, though, is that my grandmother is dying. She had another stroke a week or so ago, and is refusing to eat. I can't go visit her weekdays (she's asleep by the time I get off of work), but I went to see her both days last weekend, and will go this weekend as well. But really, she'll pass on in the next week or so. It'll be better for her, it's been a long time since she's been physically or mentally capable, but.... Add onto that the fact that the place I work is the cremation society she's been signed up with for years now, and I'm not expecting to be much good for a while.

My usual response to these sort of things is to immerse myself in a new book for a while, but as Christmas is coming up, all the books I want are relegated to my Christmas list and I can't read them before then. I'm honestly thinking that I should take some time to engage in the classic feel-better fix of clothing retail therapy instead, since at the moment I'm on the diet bandwagon again (inspired by racerxmachina's weight-loss goals) which means chocolate isn't an option. My good black pants died the honorable death the other day, after all, and my Reeboks are almost to the same point, and I could probably use some new underthings as well. Unfortunately, this requires actual /shopping/, which is the dark side of the force.

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