Things to Cut

I did not end up editing last night, due to (1) lots of errands and chores to do, (2) Wonderful Husband doing our taxes and occasionally requesting my input, and (3) pain. Spending a weekend walking on concrete floors sent my calves into screaming agony come Monday morning.

That does not mean, however, that the pot did not continue simmering on the back burner.

I've concluded that I'm going to take Naomi Novik's advice and just cut the entire first scene. Marin is my main character; why am I beginning the book with Ariss? This means that I need to tweak the next scene Ariss appears in to include a physical description of her.

I've also concluded that I need to cut out the scene between Alain Lowsturm and Bastian Tel Amo completely. I've hinted at Alain via letter, but he is simply not important yet. He (and his connection to Bastian) will be important in Field of Stars, but not in Queen's Choice. ;_; I love these characters. Alain is the son of a demon and the lightning avatar; Bastian the inheritor of, as Alain puts it, "a ridiculous amount of white magic and political power." And at this point they're college roommates. With issues. I'll have to save the scene elsewhere for future reference.

So, on the one hand, I'm sad about having to cut things out. On the other, it will make for a tighter book and help get my word count down. I've cut 1300+ words already, but I have, minimum, 1500+ more to axe. And, ideally, far more than that.

Why does my brain want to write a two-three book epic? It's going to be harder to sell.

On Killing Your Darlings

I did it. I cut the opening scene, and the Alain-and-Bastian scene. The former I've fought with too long; it was easy. The latter still hurts.

The novel's new opening stands as follows:

It was not, Marin reflected, as if this was the first time she had been to the surface and to the shore. Not the first time she had experienced the twisting nausea of her body reshaping itself, her form changing like liquid poured from one container to another. Not the first time pain had knifed through her in the desperate moments where her body’s need for water to breathe changed to water drowning her and a need for air. No, none of this was new.

This was, however, the first time she stayed on the shore, alone, as her people left her behind. She stood watching as head after head closed their eyes and dipped below the water’s surface with barely a ripple. One by one spears sank with their bearers, until only the sunlight shimmered on the sea.

Does this read any better than my last attempt? Feedback appreciated.

Nightly Editing Count

Only getting halfway through a section tonight. This is largely due to having to completely rewrite one scene in it. I am, however, now working on chapter eight. Ending for the evening at page 136/621 and 130,195 words.