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May. 13th, 2003 10:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sakon76I seem to be on the upswing of this depression, which is good. I am happy that I don't get depressed too often (depressions are inconvenient things and frequently lead to cursing out my parents on AIM and ending up in fights with my best friend, both of which have happened so far in this one), but I made myself a promise this school year that I'd let things run their emotional course and not enforce a truncation of any cycle. I actually do have a mentality where I can decided I'm sick of being depressed and *change* myself to be happy, but sometimes it feels like a cheat. Moods are cyclical like the seasons, like the movement of the Earth and the moon, like the tides. There are reasons for patterns, so I distrust breaking them.
Presented my speech to my class (9 students + teacher) today. Nearly hyperventilated during it. Have decided that tomorrow afternoon I will need to be on a sugar high to present it to an entire *auditorium*. That and to use a persona to help me speak. Have been considering which of my characters will suit. Tried out Kitty during class; she doesn't seem the right one. Maybe Max or Sachi? Don't know any of my new characters well enough to pull them on for this emergency, alas.
I will survive this. I will. I just need to convince myself of that. Not that severely jacked adrenaline isn't good, but it's an hour later and I can still feel it. And this was only a dress rehearsal.
Considering whether to go to Dance Guild tonight or to skip in favor of more practice and doing more reading, studying kanji, and finishing off that last essay.
Presented my speech to my class (9 students + teacher) today. Nearly hyperventilated during it. Have decided that tomorrow afternoon I will need to be on a sugar high to present it to an entire *auditorium*. That and to use a persona to help me speak. Have been considering which of my characters will suit. Tried out Kitty during class; she doesn't seem the right one. Maybe Max or Sachi? Don't know any of my new characters well enough to pull them on for this emergency, alas.
I will survive this. I will. I just need to convince myself of that. Not that severely jacked adrenaline isn't good, but it's an hour later and I can still feel it. And this was only a dress rehearsal.
Considering whether to go to Dance Guild tonight or to skip in favor of more practice and doing more reading, studying kanji, and finishing off that last essay.
