Aquarium Visit and Parenting Comparisons

[sakon76]

Today the Squiddle and I hooked up with his agemate C. and C.'s mom J., who we haven't seen in a few months, and went to the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific. Which is a fairly new aquarium, and top-notch IMO. And, since they have "plus one" passes, the outing didn't cost anything. (I was going to pay at least for the parking, but J. beat me to it.)

I think both the boys had a good time, though there were at least ten different summer camp groups there, so it was a bit crowded and noisy in places. I got to pet a majestic flapflap (aka, a ray) and Squiddle was very taken by watching the sea lions swim around the underwater walkway. We also got quite a tumbling show right in front of us at the sea otter exhibit!

The thing that sticks with me, though, is how this outing has revealed a nastier side of my mind to me. Moms aren't supposed to be critical of one another. We're all in this together, doing the best we can for our kids, right? But I can't help but critique that C.'s snacks consisted of like four bags of gummy candies, while the snacks I'd packed for Squiddle were cheese sticks, carrot sticks, grapes, and strawberries. (We did offer some to C., but he was not interested in carrot sticks at least.) And it's also unfair of me to blame C.'s mini-meltdown on the sugary snacks, when he's always been a bit more high-strung than Squiddle.

I'm 100% sure that there are things J. is doing that are better for C. than what I do for Squiddle. She takes C. to museums and zoos and SeaWorld and camping, while I stick pretty close to home and take Squiddle to the state-sponsored playgroups/classes at the community college down the street. And C. doesn't know how to operate a tablet yet, while Squiddle probably spends too much time on ours.

So maybe it's not so bad that I notice some things and think I'm doing them better, so long as I acknowledge that there are also things that I'm probably doing worse?

Comments

[dragondancer515.livejournal.com]

It's probably quite normal to compare, though yeah, recognizing the "bad" with the "good" is a plus. Also not saying anything to J about how they parent C (not that I'm saying you did or would).

*HUGS*

[sakon76.livejournal.com]

Ha, no, I would not criticize to her face. Or behind her back, except here, which is a space I keep separate from my daily life, for all that most of what I blog about is my daily life. Somehow writing things out helps me comprehend them better.

[dragondancer515.livejournal.com]

*nods* And this isn't even really criticizing, not in my mind. Not like coming over here and going "OMG guys, guess what J was doing!" I wholly understand about processing things by writing them out . . . and doing so where others can see, just so you can maybe get some feedback or even just feel heard. I know I do that, definitely.

[issen4.livejournal.com]

J. is probably doing the same thing as you now.