I suspect the amount of fighting/getting mad at each other is something that's highly variable from successful marriage to successful marriage. (to a point, of course) We argue plenty - we're both VERY verbal people - but not to excess or even very often, and as Jeff noted, as long as we're actually TALKING, even if it's argument, we're actually OK. Arguing can be a successful, beneficial communication style for some couples, again, to a point and managed well.

We have separate joint accounts that we treat and respect as individual personal accounts. My paycheck goes into mine and his goes into his, we divide the bills, and loan each other money back and fourth as needed. This has worked rather well with the need to manage family finances across three states. The two-city marriage thing sucks, but we've made it work for the last five years out of 25 without any major issues or drama, so we must be doing something right. We considered individual personal accounts briefly, IIRC - I had some friends ask me why I didn't keep an account just for me - my reaction was 'too much work'. I tend to be about the practicality...which every now and then drives Jeff nuts. :-)

I figure we've lasted 25 years, survived a number of crises and raising The Spawn and the Omaha thing, and we're still crazy about each other, so we have to be doing something right. Every successful marriage works differently. We've got what works for us.