It's the little things.

I'm listening to one of my coworkers noisily break up (yet again) with her manipulative, emotionally abusive ex-con deadbeat boyfriend. Yes, I do not like him. I would rejoice if I actually had any faith that the breakup would last. As it is, I'm torn on mentally betting between whether they'll be back together in a day, a week, or a month. I know that H. comes from an emotionally abusive family, so I can see where she's perpetuating the environment that she grew up in, just as I perpetuate the environment I grew up in. The difference is that I'm happy and she is markedly not. Oh, it goes in cycles for her, but somehow (from my outsider's PoV) the bad parts always seem longer and worse than the good parts. But apparently she's been content to stay in the role of abused doormat her entire adult life (she's about twenty years older than I am) and has never reached a tipping point to let her break out of the cycle.

I look at her example and it makes me thankful for my own family, my parents who raised me with love, my sister who I love even if we don't always get along as well as we should, the wonderful husband I adore, and the inlaws who raised him with love. I also feel grateful that I am blessed with good friends, even if I sometimes worry that we're drifting apart. And I end up especially grateful that so many of my friends who've come from emotionally abusive backgrounds like H. have sought counselling as they need it and are breaking their families' cycles of destruction.