Still middle of the charts

Every once in a while I have to step back from my likes and hobbies and realize just how far out from the norm I am.

Okay, the eating raw fish thing isn't all that odd these days, and the efforts toward bilinguality can be laid at the feet of a college education. Heck, even the liking of anime is pretty mainstream in America now.

But as I sat there reading (1) black and white (2) fan comics and short stories (3) about a Japanese police detective and his boyfriend (in the story, if not actually quite canon for the original series) who transforms into an armored superhero (4) in Japanese (5) and not having much of a problem either with translating or the gay sex scenes, it occured to me... mama's baby has come a long way. And that's completely ignoring the fact that I'm writing fanfiction about the same couple myself and that my main problem with the doujinshi I picked up is that Ichijou is always the bottom when I personally think it'd be more of an equal footing relationship. Seriously. All the doujinshi I picked up (including the stuff I picked out of the Ichijou x Godai sections of the bookstores) is Godai x Ichijou. Um, I looked up the actors' heights... they're exactly the same height [my height, oddly], so the taller-is-on-top rule shouldn't be applying here... so what's the reasoning behind it?

Then, of course, there's the thought that I'm posting all this as a dilemma on my lj. Definitely slightly out of the usual statistics there.

*sigh* Writer's problem

I've got this scene written. It's a good, strong scene (IMO), well-written and powerful. My only problem is in considering it, I'm not sure it's true to the PoV character. I mean, granted I'm setting it nine months after the end of the series, and have posited that he and his best friend's relationship, which was skimming the verges of romantic in the series, has actually Gone There and that they're living together as a couple now. But the problem is that the emotional base of the scene is the fairly natural transition of fear into anger (you almost died for me / never do that again) and the character... well, the Japanese wikipedia entry on the series (much more detailed than the English one) is dead-on in its description of him as possessing a "profound gentleness." He gets angry in the 49-episode series *once*. It somehow doesn't seem quite right for him to be angry at his lover, especially when they're so damn alike. But this is a case when he's helpless (he can't fight the enemy, who is specifically targeted on him), and when he tries to sacrifice himself so that his lover can get away, said lover understands his intentions, says "not this time" (yes, he has done the sacrifice move before, in front of said lover, though that was before they were lovers and when he was not quite as helpless, having the ability to summon magic armor and weaponry then) and steps in front of him, getting rather badly hurt.

So... fear for/anger at one's lover, against a profoundly gentle nature. Mwa, I should bat this at my betas and let them tell me if I'm right or worrying over nothing.