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sakon76Your Future Hasn't Been Written Yet
by K. Stonham
first released 2nd November 2021
The entrance to Trollmarket was being... guarded by Krubera.
This was not ideal, thought Blinky, easing back into an alley.
"Plan?" asked Aaarrrgghh.
"I am trying to think of one," Blinky confessed, a hand on his chin as he contemplated the ways in which they might make their escape.
"I mean, they can't stop you from going out, can they?" came Toby's disembodied voice.
"Stop, no. But as I am the trainer for the Trollhunter, and Aaarrrgghh is one of your known close associates, we may assume any move we make will be watched, and reported back to Usurna," Blinky said, still thinking.
"Like, you guys could move back into Jim's basement?" Toby suggested. "You'd be safe from Usurna there."
"No," Blinky disagreed.
"Need to be eyes and ears here," Aaarrrgghh told the young Trollhunter.
"Yes. Letting Usurna go about her plans without our ability to garner knowledge of them would not be wise," Blinky agreed with Aaarrrgghh. "All right, I think I have it. Tobias, you must ride on Aaarrrgghh's back, so as not to risk touching, or being touched. Aaarrrgghh, you and I are going stargazing."
"Twinkle, twinkle," Toby grunted, his passage up Aaarrrgghh's mane made evident only by shifting patches of green fur. "For the record, being invisible sucks. I can't even see my own hands."
"Then let us hope the Krubera will not perceive you either."
"Ready, Wingman?" Aaarrrgghh asked.
"Ready," Toby confirmed.
"Here goes nothing," Blinky said, and led the way out of the alley, heading directly for Trollmarket's grand entrance. "Ah, greetings, my good fellows!" he said to the Krubera guards with his best patter. Internally, he was, as Toby might put it, quaking in his boots. But he sought to show no sign of that. "Aarghaumont and I are going surfaceside to stargaze! There is quite the conjunction happening tonight, you know. Would you, by any chance, care to join us?"
"Stargaze?" one asked.
"Like glowworms on cavern ceilings," Aaarrrgghh offered.
"Yes, stars are small suns, so infinitely far away!" Blinky said. "Some even believe they might have worlds like our own circling around them. Fascinating, isn't it?"
The Krubera shifted easily. A deep-caverns tribe, the idea of going above the ceiling of the world must be terrifying to them. And Blinky's mention of stars being like the sun....
He held his breath, and hoped.
A flurry of shaken heads was his response, and polearms uncrossed to let himself and Aaarrrgghh pass.
Blinky breathed easy again. "Well, you simply don't know what you're missing!" he told them as he began mounting the crystal stairs.
"Good-night," said Aaarrrgghh politely to the guards, and they were on their way.
Strickler had known nothing about Usurna's arrival. And from the concern in his voice, Douxie thought that was the honest truth. The changeling had promised to ask what questions he could within the Janus Order, without jeopardizing their long-term plans.
But that left Jim pacing back and forth across the room. Hisirdoux was getting dizzy watching him, but didn't know of a good way to stop him.
"They'll be fine," he said softly. "Toby hasn't shattered his crystal, so he doesn't need backup yet."
"And if Blinky, a master strategician, can't get them out of Trollmarket, then no one can," Archie agreed.
Jim ran his hands through his hair. "I know!" he said, agitation showing in every line of his body. "I know we can't do anything. I just-- argh!"
"You're not made for inaction and waiting," Douxie said.
"And you are?" Jim demanded.
Douxie exchanged a look with Archie. "Well, the last nine hundred years argues in favor of that interpretation."
Jim hissed through his teeth and sat down next to them on the bed again, hands clenching and unclenching against his jeans.
Douxie sought for a topic to distract him while they all waited for the call.
The only one he could think of... didn't make him particularly happy. But it was something that needed to be settled between the two of them, one way or another.
Jim's way, Hisirdoux guessed.
He closed his eyes. So be it.
"Jim," he said lowly. "Something we didn't talk about earlier... I'm sorry," he said, and forced the words out. "I'll stop making those stupid jokes about kingship."
The statement did the trick; Jim stared at him, even as a white-ice starburst of cold loss blossomed in Hisirdoux's chest like a winter's firework.
"They're not jokes to you," said Jim.
Douxie bit his lip, and forced himself to continue down the path. "Maybe not," he admitted, not meeting Jim's eyes, "but they're making you uncomfortable, and adding more pressure on you, when that's the last thing you need." Subservience, the need to ease
He'd subsumed his desires once, to ease a tyrant's mind, to get Arthur to fight for the trolls, in what he'd known would be the man's dying battle.
He could sublimate himself again, for someone who mattered so much more to him than Arthur ever had.
"Doux...."
"Look," he said, "I know we come from different times, but maybe it's time for me to let go of... medieval expectations." Behind his eyes, Hisirdoux could see the glory of Camelot dancing like banners in the wind. He could see it diminishing and vanishing, like all magic in this modern world. He felt heart-sick, letting go of the hope that true golden times might yet come.
Better to save the world that is, than try to make one that will never be. He wiped at his watering eyes.
"Doux, I just... I can't live up to those expectations," Jim tried to explain.
Douxie nodded, accepting the reasoning. "I know," he said softly. "It's too much, and you already have the world on your shoulders." He forced himself to draw one breath, then another. To find a new center, somewhere among the debris. "I think I need a drink of water," he said. "Be back in a minute." Anything to get a moment away, to himself. To mourn the loss of Camelot once again.
He left, and managed to keep to himself the words he'd actually wanted to say to Jim: You already have.
Jim bit his lip as Douxie left the room, knowing that somehow he'd said the wrong thing yet again, but not knowing how he could possibly fix it.
"I can't be a king," he said to himself, to Archie. His hands buried themselves in his hair as he leaned forward, elbows propped on his knees. "I can't be whatever he thinks he sees in me. I'm not that person."
Golden eyes looked at him. "Do you know, dragons consider ourselves realists?"
Jim looked at the black cat, waiting to see where this was going.
"We see the world as it actually is," said Archie. "Wizards, however... they tend to see the world as it might be."
Jim thought about that. Thought about Merlin, who was always so concerned with the future, the big picture, and how to get the world there, no matter who he had to sacrifice in the process. Thought about Douxie, who cleaved so hard to the people he believed in that it almost seemed like he'd break.
(He had broken, and even if he'd come back, his death was one more weight on Jim's soul.)
"I guess I can see that," he admitted.
"After nearly a millennium of close association with one, I might even say that a wizard's hope, their determination to improve the world, is the true source of their power." Now gold eyes fixed Jim in place. "Douxie is a romantic. But never make the mistake of thinking him a fool. If he sees something in you, it's because it's there."
"I'm just a kid from Arcadia," Jim protested. "Right place, right time. I can't be a king."
"Just a kid from Arcadia?" Archie asked him archly. He sniffed. "If that's truly what you think, then that's all you'll ever be. But if you want to be more, to live up to what others see in you... you have to become more. I understand that's quite the thing with you." And Archie leapt off the bed and went out the door, leaving Jim alone with his thoughts.
(Archie, Jim noted, ended way too many conversations by sauntering out the door. Was it a cat thing, a dragon thing, or a strictly Archie thing, influenced by over nine hundred years hanging out around Douxie's innate drama-kid theatrics?)
His phone rang.
Grabbing it, Jim saw that it was Blinky calling. He heard footsteps thundering back up the stairs even as he answered. Douxie reappeared in the doorway.
"Blink?" Jim asked.
"We are safe, and free of Trollmarket," his mentor reported.
Jim sagged in relief. "Oh thank God."
"Tobias has invisible fingers and an invisible phone at the moment, so it was deemed best that I call you," Blinky continued.
Douxie had come close enough to overhear at least part of the conversation. "Should I break the spell?"
Jim relayed the question.
"For safety's sake, I think that should wait until we reach your domicile," Blinky decided. "We must speak in person."
"Yeah," Jim agreed. "Is Draal with you?"
"No, he has remained behind in Trollmarket for now, eyes and ears while Aaarrrgghh and I smuggled Toby to the surface," Blinky said. "We will be there shortly. Blinky out."
Claire sat on her bed, meditating. Her phone was by her side, but she'd silenced it for the moment, now that Toby was safe.
Magic is emotion, she thought. And while she could focus her emotions, use them as a path or a weapon, it also meant she had to be mindful and, as Douxie put it, know herself. Which meant long sessions like this one, figuring out how she felt about things, untangling what she could, neatly labeling it, and trying to find clarity.
(Clarity like the cool, clear, crystal air of the Shadow Realm? She mentally tagged that thought and put it aside for later consideration.)
Right now her concern was Usurna, who had shown up too early. Why? Strickler had the Janus Order well in hand, so she couldn't possibly be communicating with Gunmar.
But Toby was safe - for now.
They were all safe for now.
She almost wanted to beg Douxie to ward her house like he had Jim and Toby's, but they'd discussed it and decided there was no point. Her mom was a politician; the number of people who got invited inside Claire's home was ludicrous. And her parents didn't even know about the magic world that was literally under their feet. A glamour mask, a quick puff of a compulsion powder.... No. There was absolutely no point in defending casa de Nuñez.
Focus.
What had they done differently, that had somehow gotten word to Usurna and spooked her enough to show up unscheduled and uninvited?
She drew in several breaths, releasing them to the slow beat of her heart as she waited for enlightenment to come.
The main thing they'd done differently was--
Claire's eyes flew open.
"That's it," she whispered, shocked at how obvious it was. She bit her bottom lip and turned the thought over and over in her mind, looking for any flaw, but couldn't find one.
Picking up her phone, she typed into the group chat: Usurna's a member of the Tribunal along with Gatto. He told her about our visit. She's here because she knows there are two Trollhunters.
"Ffffff," hissed forth from between Jim's lips. Douxie watched, a tiny thread of amusement worming its way through heartache, as Jim fought desperately not to swear in reaction to Claire's message.
"You could use my word," he offered. "Or Krel's. Or there's Trollish."
"You're not helping," Jim bit out.
"I'm not trying to."
Jim shot him a glare.
"I'm just saying, just because I can't curse, doesn't mean you can't."
"My mom would ground me so fast I'd get whiplash."
Archie made a show of looking around the otherwise empty house. "Oh yes, I can see that she's right here, just waiting to catch you at it."
"She's a mom. She could be on the other side of the planet and she'd still know."
Douxie sighed. Jim needed to let off some steam, and it was either words or damage to the drywall. He was certainly not in the correct headspace for a spar. "Jim. Just let it out and let go for a couple minutes. You'll feel better for it. And I promise, if your mom somehow supernaturally knows, I'll cover for you."
Jim spun in place once more, hands fisted and snarling, before he finally gave in and painted the air blue.
Archie's eyebrows slowly rose, as did Douxie's. Before, he wouldn't have believed Jim knew some of those words. The Trollish ones especially. He supposed those must have been picked up from someone other than Blinky.
"There," he said, a few minutes later. "Feel better?"
"No. Yes. Maybe," Jim bit out.
A knock came on the door. Hisirdoux let Jim bolt downstairs first, following at a more leisurely pace with Archie. "Thank the heavens we made it, Master Jim!" Blinky crowed as he and Aaarrrgghh, and presumably Toby, crowded in through the front door.
"You do still have the house key," Archie pointed out. "All went well, then? You weren't followed?"
"Not that we could see," Toby's disembodied voice reported. Douxie leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. "Gotta say, this invisibility shtick is like the weirdest feeling ever. Weirder than Claire's portals, even."
"Shall I undo it, then?" asked Douxie.
He could hear the shudder in Toby's voice. "Please."
He searched along the thread of magic concealing Toby, and found the sealing knot. As he tugged the knot undone, he snapped his fingers, leaving the impression that his merely snapping was enough to break a solidly-woven spell.
Archie snorted softly at Hisirdoux's showmanship. "Bit much, don't you think?" he asked sotto voce even as Toby cried out in happiness at being visible again.
"Nonsense," Douxie replied in the same tone.
"Fingers," Toby said, staring at his digits as he wriggled them. "I love having fingers, have I ever mentioned that?"
"Yes, they are most convenient," Blinky agreed.
"You saw Claire's text?" Jim asked.
"Yes. And I am afraid her insight makes entirely too much sense," said Blinky.
"Angered Gatto. Wants revenge," Aaarrrgghh agreed.
"Question is, what's she going to do?" asked Douxie.
"I fear she will reveal Master Jim's existence to all of Trollmarket, for one," said Blinky as they all shifted into the living room. "Beyond that, I dread to think."
"Ugh, panic and screaming in the streets of Trollmarket." Toby groaned and flopped back against the sofa cushions. "That's going to be so much fun to deal with."
"Does she actually have jurisdiction over the Trollhunter?" asked Douxie.
Glances were exchanged. "Yes," said Jim.
"No," said Toby, arms crossed, expression mulish.
"Yes and no," said Blinky. "The amulet was a gift to trollkind from Merlin, and all its previous bearers have been trolls. Therefore, the Tribunal's authority has never before even been questioned." Like Toby, his arms were crossed. His fingers tapped at his chin as he thought. "You raise a valid point, however, my wizarding friend. Neither Jim nor Toby is a troll, so the question of whether or not Usurna can make any demands as to them is legally murky."
"Wait, you mean I didn't have to let her put me on trial?" Jim demanded.
Blinky shrugged. "As I said, legally murky."
"And at that," Archie put in, "Jim's amulet was never gifted to the trolls. Douxie made it specifically for him. She therefore has no legal claim to Jim's actions whatsoever."
"I'm not going to let her go after Toby alone," Jim argued. "We're in this together, sink or swim."
"I never said you should." Archie's tail twitched. "I'm simply pointing out that if her target is the twin Trollhunters, she has even less to stand on than if it was Toby alone."
"Question is," said Douxie, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, "when do we use what we know about her, against her? Do we collude now, or simply wait for the opportune moment to present itself?"
"It is almost certain she is up to no good," Blinky mused. Aaarrrgghh nodded. "What her true goals are, however, we do not yet know."
"She knows what we wanted from Gatto," said Jim. "So she knows we were going after the Triumbric Stones. Which means she knows we're aiming to take out Gunmar."
"But does she know we've got all three?" asked Toby. "I mean, she can't know we've got the Eye, right? And, speaking of which...." He pulled his amulet out and turned it over. He tapped at the back; the amulet opened, revealing two cut gemstones nestled within.
"Holy crap, you cut the Killstone?" Jim asked, eyes flying wide.
"Duh, what do you think I was doing down in Trollmarket?" Toby asked.
"What'd you get?"
Toby shrugged. "I didn't have time to test it before her queenliness showed up."
"Arena?" Aaarrrgghh suggested.
"Heck yeah!" said Jim. "Wait, no. We need to hash out what to do about Usurna first. Then we can go to the arena."
"The main conundrum I can see," said Blinky slowly, "is that of whether she has come to disrupt our plans, as she did last time... or whether she will see our position of strength and decide there is nothing more to be won with supporting Gunmar."
"At what point will she give up on the sunken cost fallacy?" Douxie asked. "After all, as far as she knows, no one knows what she's done. If she cuts ties with him, she could make a clean getaway."
"Not let her get away," said Aaarrrgghh softly, rubbing at his arm.
"Agreed, my friend," said Blinky, patting Aaarrrgghh's hand. "So. We must goad Usurna into publicly making a mistake."
Author's Note: One of the best things to do, as a writer, is to take characters with competing emotional needs, smash them together, and dance among the wreckage. That said, Jim really doesn't realize that he's coming for Douxie's whole life there, and Douxie's still shell-shocked by both Merlin and Jim being truly angry at him, so at the moment he's not realizing that his wants and needs are just as valid. Also, just because Blinky knows for a solid fact that there are worlds and people circling around other stars, doesn't mean he's in a position to state it as a certainty to near-strangers. Archie's line about "if that's what you think, then that's all you'll ever be" comes from the movie The Last Starfighter. And after I shared the scene with Jim cursing, Ascaisil posited that he'd learned Trollish cursing from Draal, which feels right. ^_^
