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[personal profile] sakon76
Up at five a.m. I think I got a couple hours of sleep between two and four? We just got back from a week visiting my sister and niecelet up in Washington, and came in the door to find the cats' water bowl bone dry and Paris collapsed in the hallway and weakly meowing. We spoon-fed some water and wet cat food into her, then I ended up taking her to the emergency clinic. She was severely dehydrated and in critical condition - her core temperature was five degrees below normal. She weighed only seven pounds. I knew she was light, but I hadn't known she weighed so little. She was at least fifteen years old and the vet made it clear to me that even with hospitalization, her chances weren't great. I had to make the hard call to put her down. I've spent hours crying and I don't know how to explain this to Squiddle when he wakes up and asks where she is.

I should have left more water - though what I left was more than my parents' two cats go through in a week when my parents are out of town. Or I should have tried harder to get one of my cousins to check in on the cats. I think Paris just had so little in the way of reserves that everything collapsed. Sushi, who is by comparison quite sturdy, was just able to shrug it off.

I swear that I felt her weight on me while I was lying in bed earlier. Maybe it was her coming by to let me know it was okay, that she's okay. Stranger things have happened. Ask me sometime about my late grandfather showing up in my and my mother's dreams.

I will miss Paris dreadfully. She was the cat who would tolerate Squiddle and Jazzy touching her, only hissing when the former got too rambunctious. She was very vocal, so much so that had she not already been named when we got her, "Cricket" would have been a good name. She had a stutter-meow that let me know when she was bird-watching, and a deep "mur-OW" that told me when she'd found a lizard in the house. She loved sunbathing in the kitchen garden, and slept on the same spot on the back of the sofa.

It's never hard letting go of a pet, and it's one of those things that makes the ephemerality of the universe seem so cruel. But how much poorer would we be without them in our lives?
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